Eulogies

It's never easy to say goodbye, especially with a eulogy that captures the beauty and complexity of somebody's life. Even for experienced speakers, finding just the right words can be daunting – how do you mix reverence and humor while summing up all they meant in so few minutes? Writing an eloquent memorial is deeply therapeutic and being chosen to give one is truly special. Here are some helpful tips on crafting your own tribute - take them into consideration as together we honor our beloved friend or family member through their funeral service.

• Gather information.  Talk with family members, friends and possibly even some co-workers to find out important information on the deceased.  Some information you might want to include in the eulogy is the person's family and other close relationships, their education/career, hobbies or special interests, places the person lived or traveled too, and any special accomplishments they had.
• Organize your thoughts.  Start by jotting down your ideas by whatever means you are most familiar with and are comfortable doing. Outline your speech with the important points and then fill in the sections with the information gathered.
• Write it down.  It is a good idea not to ad-lib a eulogy. Writing it all down helps you remember every detail you want to say in your eulogy.  Make sure the copy you bring to read your eulogy is easy to read by either printing it out in a large font or, if it hand-written, leave a few spaces between the lines.  It’s best to keep things on the short side, especially if there are other speakers due to time constraints.
• Review and Revise.  Your first draft will not be the last.  It is a good idea to finish your speech and then sleep on it and look it over in the morning. With fresh eyes, you will have the time to make any necessary revisions.
• Practice, Practice, Practice.  Read over your eulogy several times in order to become familiar with it.  Practice in front of a mirror, read it over to some friends or family and have them give you feedback.  The more you practice the more confident you will be. It is a good idea to become very familiar with it so it doesn't read like a script.
• Make them laugh, but be respectful.  A funeral is not a roast, however, there is room for some humor.  This can be a fond memory or a story about the person that everyone can relate to.  Be sure to keep it appropriate as there will most likely be children and elderly there that may not share the same sense of humor. A good dose of humor can help individuals cope and evoke happy memories of the deceased. It is true that laughter is the best medicine.
• Don’t be afraid to show emotion.  Funerals are incredibly emotional occasions, and no one will be surprised if you cry a little. Have a backup plan in place, though, where someone you trust may deliver the eulogy if you believe your emotions will be too powerful to handle. If you believe that this might be a problem, provide them a copy well in advance.
• Have a glass of water as well as tissues handy.