Funeral etiquette and what is expected of you have changed with time, just like everything else in society. As always, the best rule of thumb for proper funeral etiquette is to use common sense and caution. Here are some funeral etiquette dos and don'ts.

Do:

• Do express your condolences –  Words of sympathy are very often hard to come up with. You can say something as simple as “I am sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family”.  If you can’t be at a funeral service in person, sending a card or leaving a message or story on their Remember Page is enough.
• Do dress appropriately – You should dress to impress and avoid any bright or flashy colors.  Wearing what you would wear for a wedding or a job interview would be the most appropriate. All black isn't the normal attire anymore but it's best to avoid jeans and a t-shirt.
• Do sign the register book – The family will keep the register book as a memento for years.  Be sure to include your full name and relationship to the deceased.
• Do give a gift – It's not necessary to go overboard with your present; after all, what matters is your thoughtfulness. Flowers, a gift to the family's preferred charity, or a promise to serve the family in the future are all appropriate tributes. A pledge of service can be as straightforward as volunteering to make them dinner or clean up their house—any of the "little" things that could get overlooked as a family copes with a death. To ensure that the family knows who sent the gift, make sure to include a signed card.
• Do keep in Touch – Even if you might think the family wants their privacy and time to grieve, a quick call or note after the funeral will still show that you care. Social networking makes leaving a brief note as easy as pulling out your phone. The most difficult time for grieving friends and family is in the months immediately after a loss.

Don't:

• Don't bring your cell phone – It is very inappropriate and disturbing when a cell phone rings during a funeral service. Be sure to turn off your notifications and silence your phone. Even better, leave your phone at home or in your car.
• Don't allow your children to be a distraction – From a very young age children are aware of death. When a funeral is for someone close to the child such as a grandparent, aunt, or uncle they should be allowed to attend.  However, if you feel like they could disturb the service and shouldn't be there, find a babysitter.
• Don't be afraid to remember the good times –Remembering the good times can help with the healing process. It's okay, and in some situations exactly what the deceased would have wanted, to tell an amusing and suitable anecdote.
• Don't overindulge - If food or drink is served, do not overdo it. Eat something before the service; you don't want to be that person who is stuck at the snack table. If alcohol is provided, keep your intake limited so you don't get wasted and run the danger of doing something wrong.